Well, I had my bladder scope today. I would love to say, "well, that was an experience I hope I never have to have again!", but I have to have another in a month....so oh well.
My doctor is really nice so that helped. Most of my bladder looked fine (and weird!!!, but cool!), but right where it connects to my urethra is was all red and splotchy. Unfortunately this is also where the scope was hanging out so every time it touched the bladder wall I yelped in pain. But that didn't happen too much. The worst part was the potassium solution he put in my bladder. This is the test they use to confirm Interstitial Cystitis. If you don't have it, it feels like water. If you do it hurts like hell. Literally like salt on an open wound. Luckily he emptied it after I yelled, "Holy Mother of Pearl!" (like my primary president swearing there? I'm trying.) so it didn't last long.
So basically he said it's like the lining on that part of my bladder is gone and every time my bladder gets urine in it (ummm all the time), the acids are further damaging the lining. The good news, it's early stage and he thinks he can cure it in 6 months with a drug called Elmiron-think of it like pepto bismol for the bladder. The bad news: Elmiron is crazy expensive. WITH insurance I'm looking at $300 a month. yeah...we don't have that.
So I don't know what we'll do. Unfortunately, because of this condition I have to pee all the time and can't really go out and get a part time job. Igloo is thinking of getting another one, but I worry about his health from working that much. Maybe we just credit card things until we get our tax returns. You know, the tax returns that were supposed to go toward fixing some things on the car.
To say I feel guilty (and cynical) is an understatement. I know if it was any one else in the family I would tell them not to worry and we'll deal with it and it isn't their fault. Why doesn't it work when I tell myself that?
I'm so sorry. It sounds miserable. I've always found that the prep for a procedure is way worse than the actual procedure. Give me a colonoscopy ANY day, but please don't make me drink the junk! I'll be praying for you.
ReplyDeleteBecause you're a dork?
ReplyDeleteNo, I do the same thing. We pay about $100 a month for my medications (which, really, we're getting off easy considering how many I take) and it kills me that I am paying that much for my stupid brain to work. Why can't my body just function normally? UNCOOL.
Can you talk to your bishop? I know it's awkward (yeah, I *KNOW* it's awkward. I had to go ask for rent money once because I'd screwed up severely somehow and we had gotten a 3-day-notice-to-vacate paper on our door... ugh.) But yeah. I would suggest asking bishop for help. Because you neeeeeed that medicine, if you can be cured in 6 months, that's better than having no bladder in 6 months, right?
I thought about going the bishop route...but we're getting a new one this Sunday! :) I may ask our RS pres (who is my friend) what she would recommend. I'm trying really hard to have faith that things will work out and still being grateful it wasn't cancer.
ReplyDeleteOh my word. I hate this situation you are in! The pain, the money, the stress, the guilt. I'm glad it wasn't cancer, either. SCARY, but at least you have an answer now.
ReplyDeleteNo fun!!!!
ReplyDelete