Monday, September 24, 2012

On the Subject of Health

Do you blog about your worries?
I wonder this a lot.  When I find out I'm pregnant I want to blog about it (I'm not, btw). But there's an unspoken rule about the health topics you can share with others. You can blog about anything comfortable: a 2nd trimester + pregnancy, a cold or flu, or even your struggle with cancer or depression.  Because people know what to expect with that.

But we aren't allowed to blog about waiting.  Waiting to see if a pregnancy will stick, waiting for test results, waiting for news about your husband in Afghanistan.

Why is that?  I know some people break the rules.  I've seen blog posts about pregnancies within hours of taking a test.  I've also seen posts that say, "Oh my gosh they're testing me for stomach cancer today!!"  And then 2 hours later after 2000 comments about prayers and "thinking of yous" that person posts, "What a relief, it was just indigestion!"  But then everyone is miffed because they were made to worry for nothing.

And yet...think of what that person is feeling at that moment.  They're in pain, they're scared, and they have no answers and they feel alone.  All they want is to share what they're feeling so they don't feel quite so alone.  But that isn't allowed.

It reminds me of when my dad died and during the viewing everyone came through and was so upset and my mother and I felt like our main job was to comfort others and appear strong.  It was weird.  Weren't we the ones suffering the most from his loss?  But breaking down was not an option, even though it was we wanted to do.  Instead we let polite tears of sorrow fall down our cheeks while in the presence of others.  I'm not upset about that, but it seemed odd to me.

How private does one need to be about these things?  We don't want to upset others, but how often have you gone to google, hoping to find someone who has blogged about exactly what you're going through?  Maybe that person will give you hope that you might be able to keep your unborn child or that they didn't hear from their spouse for a month and they still came home from war.  Or maybe you just need to be told, "it's okay to worry.  Because I worried too.  And you're totally normal."  In the world of blogging, where does politeness give way to honesty?


  1. I say be honest!!!!! I always love REAL blogs that don't smooth over too much. You go!

    But I totally agree that discretion is necessary for more public forums like facebook. With blogs, readers are seeking you out because they care. If they don't like what they read they don't have to check it anymore!

  2. There have been a few posts on my blog that I have deleted because they are too honest. Like the posts that say "I am miserable and my kid is a horrible brat and I really hate my life and CPS can come on over and take him." Yeah, it's true more often than not, but that doesn't mean people need to read about it.

    But I have kept my posts about depression, social anxiety, my medications and self-harm. Why? I don't know. Because more people struggle with those, I guess, than the kid thing. And I do want people to know that there are real people who really suffer with the stuff I have, and that we may seem normal on the outside but on the inside we are slowly dying or being terrified that we are drug addicts or whatever.

    So my answer is, I have no idea. I try to keep the "my kid is awful" posts to my private blog I've had since I was 15, and then the rest I post on Blogger. But I try to keep the serious ones to a very very minimum, because even though this is something I struggle with every freaking minute of every freaking day, nobody wants to hear about it THAT much.

  3. You've got to know your audience. And I say misery loves company. It's nice to know that there are people out there going through what you are going through. As a blogger, I try to be 100% honest because I know my readers.

    It's a tough call, though.

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  5. I think what you post on your blog should be more about how much of yourself YOU are willing to share and not the effect it will have on your readers. Screw the readers! And if you ultimately decide to keep your private things private from the blog, know that you have friends that love you and would feel privileged to know you even better. Love you dearly, girl. I'm here any time.

  6. I totally understand what your talking about. I agree that some people share too much info, but a lot of times it's good to wait until you know. I think it all depends on how worried you are about something and if you think your friends would be any help to you. I'm wondering why this is on your mind, everything ok with you?