Introspection

I know I didn't post yesterday. I never should have mentioned NaBloPoMo but I thought it'd be fun. Really, I just want to be able to blog when I feel like it. Oh well :)
It rained all day today. It knocked the leaves from the trees and much of sidewalk was like a golden carpet. It was absolutely lovely. Rain is my favorite weather for so many reasons. I sat and watched it and thought about how important each little drop was to create this wonderful storm.
I'm doing some hard thinking. Big thinking. Sometimes I feel like that's all I do. Like I'm some emo teenager trying to "find herself" or something. No thanks, already been there.
I'm trying to figure out what I want my family to be. I'm trying to decide what kind of mother and wife I am. Where am I willing to sacrifice and what am I willing to compromise on.
They're big questions and I find myself on different pages with my husband which makes things more complex. I suppose it would all be easy if one day I said, "honey, I'd like to change the way we spend our holidays." and he said, "I've been thinking the same thing." Easy!
It's happened before, but more often one of us feels differently. because life isn't usually easy. And it's hard to mesh that. I never did like group projects ;).
So I may become quiet or I may post twice a day. I'm not sure. I just know I have a lot on my mind and I'm desperately feeling a pull to read Little House in the Big Woods this week.

Labels: