I'm feeling like I just can't win. And I suppose I can't. Because I can't live my life to make other people happy.
I think that's one of the hardest lessons in life.
If I do my best to teach my children and they end up pretty smart, then I come across as stuck up when I try to get their needs met at school. I've seen the eye rolls and heard the jabs. Unless you have a nice average child, you'll offend someone with your offspring.
As I've tried to eliminate negative influences in my life, I've found it alienates those around me. I used to see most of pop culture in shades of grey and lately things are seeming more black and white. I wont watch most programs on tv and hardly watch any new movies any more either. No matter my reasoning or motives, this comes across as holier than thou.
I'm frustrated. Because I want to talk to people and enjoy their company, but I have to keep the subject to the weather. When asked how school is for my son I'll just smile and say, "it's fine." When asked if I've read that book they recommended, despite the foul language, I'll lie and say I've been too busy to read. I really don't want to live like that, but I also don't want to make others uncomfortable.
More likely though, I need to just get over it. Because how someone feels about me is really none of my business.
I miss my friend. The one who "gets" me. She moved across the country this summer and now no one close to me understands why I don't make crude jokes anymore or why having a smart child creates problems. That you are finally tired of the worldly things you've had your whole life. It's nice to be gotten. So the great lesson here is if you ever have a friend like that, treasure them and don't take them for granted.