My new excuse for being overweight: I'm poor.

My brother posted on his blog about how expensive it is to lose weight. It really is expensive to eat well and to really get a good body. I totally agree with it! There was a point in our marriage we were determined to eat healthier and we broke the bank doing it. When you don't have a lot of money for food you almost instinctively go for quantity just in case you don't have enough $$ for dinner that night. $5 Organic salad or $1 burger? Usually the burger wins out.

So it got me thinking about how I haven't lost any weight? Like everyone else I want to lose weight this year, so I'm going to honestly evaluate why I haven't.

I weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant! I lost a bunch after my son was born, but I gained it all back when I was too tired to cook and craving enough calories to keep up my milk. Since then I've stayed the same. Regardless of what I do I haven't really gained or lost, I guess it just hasn't been that high of a priority.

My biggest problem right now? It's so freaking cold! Not only can I not afford a gym, I hate them! I live very close to hiking trails. I also got a brand new bike. I really want to take advantage of those. But I can't take the boy out in the cold, and frankly I'm not too excited about it either. At least he's finally to an age where I can start working out!

Also-pizza. It's cheap ($5 hot and ready!) and it's good. I don't have to cook it. Corn dogs too. Even though I'm eating instant cancer I love those things!

I need a scale that works.

I'm scared that I'll only lose fat and not skin. Seriously. I had this little body before I got pregnant and there was nowhere to put the baby so I grew out. Far. Now I have excess skin. I know, you really want to read that huh? It's not too bad right now because I have fat to pad it. But what happens if I lose the fat and not the skin? EWWW!

I actually like healthy food. Salad? Yes! With oil and vinegar! Oatmeal, granola? Bring it on! grilled chicken? Much preferable to beef or pork, but I'd even prefer no meat. But it's still much more expensive than a can of spaghettios. I really could eat brown rice and stirfry all day, but I don't like cooking it. Bottom line. I'm so tired. Always tired. But my thyroid is fine, so riddle me that one batman. Actually it's a symptom of endometriosis (if that really is what I have). But I've never been able to maintain enthusiasim for coming up with what to eat.

Food storage. I want to store a year of food. Not happening in a condo. I do 4 months. But what kind of food do you store? Cheap stuff that you can make using other cheap stuff, because if you're using food storage, money is more precious than usual. So my food storage consists of flour, cream soups, canned veggies, canned fruit, sodium filled junk, powdered fruit drink (sugar). Most of it is casserole makings. Casseroles go a long way. They're cheap and they're full of fat.

So now I know why I haven't lost it yet: convenience, money, fear. But I have a new fear. Watching my dad's fight with cancer has given me a new motivation for health. While I may not be able to shop at Good Earth every day, I'm determined to find cheap, healthier ways to eat. I've already lost 5 lbs the last 2 weeks by drinking more water and cutting out the soda. I'm still not sure what to do about my food storage, since I prefer eating fresh food. But I'll come up with something.

*I wonder if I can build a greehouse on the condo property?*