Thursday, October 26, 2006

There's a hole in the carpet dear 'liza

We've decided to replace the floors in the bedrooms. Well, maybe I should start at the beginning. We started repainting the bedroom 2 weeks ago and after moving furniture found water damage from the neighbors leaking...something (tub?). So we moved into the boy's room. THAT was a pain. It's smaller, but we actually like it better, "let's stay in this one." "Okay!"

And then I started smelling it. That horrible stench. The previous owner had a cat and apparently kept this cat's litter box ON CARPET! And the carpet reeks of urine. It is so disgusting! I kept complaining to Hubby and tried bleach, lysol, febreze, everything. Want to know how to get rid of the smell of pet urine? Last night I finally got fed up and cut away a good chunk of the offensive material, vacuumed up the old litter remains, and dumped it in the trash. I'm ripping all of it up today. We can sleep in the living room. Nevermind that with doctor appointments and the boy's birthday I have no time to rip up and lay flooring, but since when has that stopped me? I am determined to do this by Saturday's end. So I went to Lowes to look for our flooring and they stopped selling it! So we have to pay $200 more to have the same look of our floors throughout the whole house. But I don't care. I'm so sick of cat pee and carpet and I'll pay anything.

And my husband wonders why I'm not a cat person....

Friday, October 13, 2006

The question isn't "are you crazy?", the question is, "to what extent?"

The more open I've been about my own mental illnesses, the more people I find who feel the same. We're all just a little bit nuts, some more than others. I really believed some of the things I've suffered with no one else (at least in my church) suffered with. I am very pleased to find out how wrong I am. Even people with more severe problems than me feel the same darkness.

I'm so emo.

I read an awesome book last night called, "The Worth of Every Soul" about a man who struggled for years with addiction, depression, and adultery. You read about his journey through excommunication and rebaptism and also his family's struggle as they stuck by him. It just brought me a little bit back to the realization that Christ really did descend below all things and knows exactly how we feel. All the pain, despair, and even feeling like God doesn't care (remember the garden?). He also rose above it so that he could help us do the same. We really can't do it on our own, we don't have to "prove" anything. We can only rise above it all if we use Him. I've learned and forgotten this so many times I can't count. But it never stops being true.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Got a headache?

Licensed to Pill

So, I could've taken Zoloft.  Then I wouldn't have to do difficult therapy.  Yet.  But here are the side effects that occured in more than 15% of patients with my disorders: ejaculation failure (no!!!), dry mouth, diarrhea/loose stools, nausea, insomnia.  There are lot more, but they occured in less than 15%.

You know, sometimes you really do need a good anti-depressant.  But I think more often than not you just need to deal with your issues and come to grips with life.  And honestly, I already have insomnia.  I really don't want to have to wear depends just to avoid feeling like crap (*insert joke here*).

Do we over medicate?  Or do we just have more advances in science to help with lifes ails?  I can see both sides, especially when my friends and I have very real mental disorders.  I would argue though that we should first look toward lifestyle and attitude changes before popping a pill or 10.